just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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