he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
