i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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