a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't think brook has ever known best
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
