Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
