I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
