i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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