Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
