sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
