I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
