is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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