So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
