You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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