grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
