i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
