I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
