I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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