I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
