i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
