i would punch a child for taco bell
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
