I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
