don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
