she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
