I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
