I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
