Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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