the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
