I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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