What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I lost the right to judge tonight
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
