like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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