The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
