I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
