your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
