I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize