Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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