I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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