Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
