Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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