There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
