I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize