The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
