Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
