so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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