I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
