jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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