my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
