apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
