jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
