Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
