The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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