i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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