I must be too annoying 4 u.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
