Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
barbara walters just said penis...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
