Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
