there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
