There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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