that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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