Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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