if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
