You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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