Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
