sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
