So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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