What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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