Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
